Tears were inevitable for
the first half of the school day in kindergarten for me. The first day I didn’t
cry, my teacher sent a note home with me to my parents - that was in February
(and school started in September). I was so afraid of what I was missing at
home. My mom would have to be sitting on the back step exactly where I left her
when I got off the bus, and she would tell me that is where she sat all day and
“...absolutely nothing had happened on the farm.” While I eventually started to
like school - love it actually - the thought of moving to another building to
start the 4th, 6th, and 9th grades was terrifying. The idea of starting high
school was hideous; the intimidating height of upperclassmen and imminent
stress of the never-ending class load wasn’t exactly something I was looking
forward to.
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| Here's a glimpse at what my weeks look like. |
My biggest fear, though, is
the unknown of the future. I make lists - for everything. I try to plan out
everything as much as possible. Details are crucial and I need to know as much
as possible in advance; preparedness is something I thrive on. Setting goals
and moving in that constant direction is a path I rarely stray from. But I’ve
learned tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Fear can be so powerful. It
can paralyze us from daily life and steal away incredible opportunities placed
in front of us. But when we push past what scares us, we are able to learn,
grow, and pursue our passions, goals and dreams. Sometimes other people push us
out of our comfort zones, sometimes we don’t have a choice and are placed in a
new environment where we have to face our fear, and sometimes we have to make
the conscious decision to challenge ourselves to go beyond the fear.
It’s easy to stick to what
we know and what’s comfortable - but until we face our fears, we will never
know what lies on the other side. Maybe you love to play basketball, and you’ve
been working on a new move on the court, but you are too scared to try it out
in a game. Once you feel prepared, take the leap of faith - face your fear one
step at a time. One of my favorite quotes is:
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.”
What do you fear the most?
What is holding you back? Is it the uncertainty of the outcome? Or maybe the
rejection or hurt that might accompany the risk? Why? How will you face
your fear?
Everyday, we make the
decision to stick to our normal routine or live the day as if it might be our
last. Facing those barn spiders is scary to me, but if I don’t, I know I will
never be able to accomplish my goals in the show barn. Having teachers,
parents, and friends support and push me through moving to a new school or
trying something new has led to some pretty amazing opportunities. If I hadn’t
started high school, I wouldn’t have been involved in FFA; and then I never
would have had the incredible opportunities to travel the world, meet so many
incredible people, or discover and pursue my passion. And being prepared only
gets you so far - my teammates have taught me the importance (and the fun) of
“winging it” once in a while. And yes, the future is scary, but that is just
part of life’s adventure and it's all about the attitude we have to embrace it.
Stationed by the ear of
corn,
Kylee
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