Focus on
the Mountain in Front
of You
“Hi Savannah!” exclaimed my friend as she
plopped down in the seat next to me in our Dairy Science class. As she
adjusted her backpack, her eyes narrowly focused on my face. She could tell
that something was wrong. “How did you do on your quiz?” she asked. I averted
my eyes, my lip twitched, in hopes to avoid her question and concern. How
could I say that I did poorly on my quiz after studying so hard. To tell her my disappointing reality was not
an option. Instead, I allowed my poor score on my quiz to negatively affect
how the rest of this and the next class period went. I refused to open up
to anyone about how I was feeling. After
all, the harsh reality of being transparent with others, especially when it
deeply affects my pride, is a mountain that I am still climbing.
If you really know me, you know that I love the
cold.
I love the exhilarating feeling of the cold and
breathing in the fresh crisp air. One of my favorite sweatshirts says “Life is
better in the mountains” Just ask my family and best friends; when
times get rough and when my hope dwindles, I resort to dreaming about the
mountains.
When I received that low score on my quiz I
mentally “checked out” and went to the gym to workout. My workout consisted of
flipping tires and pushing myself to do pull-ups for the first 20 minutes. I
was mad at myself and my seeming inability to score well on the quiz. The only
thing that made me happy was to take my frustrations out at the gym and to
think about packing up and escaping to the mountains. After all, the
mountains signify a place away from reality, where I can not be hurt, there
is no judgement, and I can enjoy the breathtaking and tranquil views.
On December 2nd, 2019, I learned that one of my
most cherished mentors passed away. I did not know how to handle this, but I
knew that I had two choices. I could either stuff my feelings and avoid this
reality, or open up and share my pain with others and deal with my present
situation. I wanted to pack up and climb a mountain...to push this harsh
reality aside and not believe that my friend and mentor had just died. I felt
numb. Like someone had punched me in the stomach when I was not looking.
In an effort to comfort me, one of my teammates sent me this quote, “You have been
assigned this mountain to show others that it can be moved.” Life does
not always look pretty. Hardships and challenges ARE real, and guess what? It
is okay to not be okay. Without realizing it, I already had a strong
support system through my family, friends, teachers, and mentors. I had never
reached out and asked them for help in this way before. All I needed to do was
open up, be transparent, share my feelings, ask for prayer, and start
climbing the figurative mountain that was right in front of me. They
overwhelmingly supported me and answered my call for help. Why is it so
hard to ask for help?
Today, I had to face my fears and take another
dairy science test. I studied extremely hard the days leading up to the quiz by
giving myself lectures in a classroom, communicating with classmates about
questions I had, and visiting my professor during his office hours to help get
ready. This time I was prepared. At 11 AM, I walked out of that class
period extremely happy and proud. I have never felt so good about taking a
quiz. Regardless of the grade (because my identity is not based on my grade), I
know I will be happy because I corrected the mistakes in my studying habits
from the times before. I climbed that mountain. Now, I need to prepare
myself for the other mountains (exams) that are coming up.
Instead of imagining a mystical, beautiful,
breathtaking mountain to climb, I am beginning to focus on climbing the
(figurative) mountain(s) in front of me. I am trying to stop avoiding
conversations that need to be had, homework that is due tomorrow, conflict that
needs to be resolved, friendships that need to be strengthened, my room that
needs to be cleaned, horse stalls that need to be mucked out, and instead
re-centering my faith as the main focal point of my life. Fear is not my
true North, my faith is. Now that I clearly know which direction I’m going and
have a support system I know will climb along with me, I know I can climb any
mountain placed before me.
“Tell the Story of the Mountain YOU Climbed…”
Embrace your mountain. We all have them.
Realize that this mountain is helping you become the best version that
you can be! “Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words can
become a page in someone else's survival guide.” This life is meant to be an
exciting adventure. What is holding you back from living up to your
fullest potential? There will be hills and valleys in our life, but keep on
making sure that your compass is pointing due north and persevere amidst the
pain, fear, hurt, pressure, joys, happiness, and love that you feel. I
challenge you to put on your hiking shoes. I challenge you to swing your
backpack onto your shoulders. I challenge you to pull your hair back, fill your
water bottle, refocus your mind, and set your sights upward to climb that mountain.
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where
does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and
earth and the mountains.”
Stationed by the Door,
Savannah Aanerud
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